Church Leadership Course
This web course is designed specifically for church leaders seeking guidance on how to help members of their congregation through addiction to pornography.
Handouts
Frequently Asked Questions
The greatest factor is to try and balance the principles of hope and forgiveness with accountability and ownership. Most likely, by the time you are meeting with someone, they are already feeling hopeless, fearful, and ashamed. They will benefit from continuous, healthy doses of the following:
- Hope that change is possible
- Education about the addiction and the process of recovery
- Continuous connection, accountability, and support
- Development of new skills and patterns of healthy living
If you are working with someone who has tried several times in the past to stop their behaviors with limited success, perhaps even attending something like a 12-step group, it might be a good next step to refer them to a professional therapist who is trained in treating sexual addiction.
Remember that you are dealing with shame first and foremost. This means that those who are visiting with you probably already know the answer on a rational level. See if you can connect them to a sense of hope, and a reminder of their infinite worth and value. If they can connect to these things, they are much more likely to follow through on assignments.
The road to recovery is usually a long term process that becomes a lifelong process of continual growth. Remember we are changing habits and patterns of living more than just trying to stop a bad behavior. Good formal treatment will often last for 1-2 years of regular individual and group meetings. This is often something that is not “cured” as much as managed through different choices and patterns of living.
No, although they often overlap in principle. 12-step meetings are free of charge run by volunteers and follow a structure where a principle is taught each week and those who attend have an opportunity to share. Most therapy groups will reinforce similar principles, but will be run by a trained professional, include more interpersonal interaction, and be more directive than a 12 step meeting. Many people find it helpful to attend both kinds of recovery activities.